I Love the Smell of Neoprene in the Morning...

Wednesday, July 20, 2005


The veins in my hands bulge as my heart works overtime trying to get the blood around my body.

There's a bit of a standing joke in our office. Many of the people there are my friends as well as my colleagues, so occasionally, when we're out and we meet strangers, the dreaded question "How do you all know each other?" comes up. What follows is the briefest possible description of our work (anything more elaborate would render the listener unconscious within seconds), followed by the additional snippet that our company is split into sectors - Gareth works in sugar, Simon deals with starch, Rob's in charge of coffee and (here comes the funny bit) John's in rubber!


You can almost feel the extra buoyancy even without getting wet.

Well, tonight, for the first time, I finally was. I can't say I enjoyed it much, to be frank. At first I was convinced they'd sent me the wrong size, but later (long after I'd taken the suit off) I read the instructions for putting it on and discovered I might not have done it quite correctly. Even so, I'm fairly sure the rapid loss of blood flow to, well, everywhere will at best only be slightly reduced by putting the thing on as per the instructions.


Given my recent weight gain, I'm surprised the table didn't collapse.

If the photographs look like they were taken in a hurry, that's because they were - if we'd hung around any longer, I may have passed out. And I'm only slightly joking.

I apologise for the recent lack of entries. I have a post in mind about just how much time this training for the triathlon is taking up, but ironically, I haven't yet found the time to write it. Suffice it to say for now that I'm getting up in the morning, cycling to work, working all day, and then either cycling, running, swimming or doing a combination of all three in the evenings. By the time I'm done, sleeping is just about all I'm good for.

Speaking of which, it's way past my bedtime.

19 comments:

SwissToni said...

nice.

out of interest what size did they send you? They sent me an f4, so if that's what you've got, imagine how I feel in mine!

ST

SwissToni said...

respect for putting the photos up, by the way....

John said...

I was just going to do one of me standing like a ponse in my kitchen, but thought the action shots might be more fun. I'm looking forward to taking it to the pool tonight - the thought of swimming in it last night seemed ridiculous, it was far too tight.

Does it slacken up any when you get in the water?

SwissToni said...

no.

John said...

Exxxxxcellent.

Timo said...

...and you have to get the tri suit on underneath that too : )

John said...

I did have the tri bottoms on (I can risk putting the top on after the swim), but still, I struggle enough with the swimming without having my breathing restricted too.

[/moan]

nancytoby said...

Which triathlon is the big event!?!?

It does too slacken up. You need water inside that thing or you'll die.

Statue John said...

Would have to agree with nancytoby. Had to wear one when scuba diving and it soon fills up fairly quickly. Whats more the water should become trapped and start to heat up a bit - meaning that you don't have to worry about the temperature of the Thames quite so much, only the floating bottles and old boots etc...

Lord Bargain said...

god, is there any blog you can go to these days that doesnt have pictures of blokes in rubber or lycra?

honestly.

John said...

Nancy - the big event is the London Triathlon - it will be on TV over here, but I doubt the BBC World Service will be carrying it too.

Statue - I reckon I'll be nervous, so that thing will be filling up long before I get in the water.

Bargain - I can't be held responsible for your web surfing habits. I just tell it like it is - if you can't handle the truth, that's not my fault. We're in Lycra AND rubber and we're proud. And slightly constricted.

drizzlenightsky said...

Coolness!

You remind me of Billy Zane as "The Phantom"...I'm not sure if I mean that as a compliment though since he looked like a giant purple condom in that friggin' excuse for a movie...hmmm...

good luck on your training! ;)

SwissToni said...

the water's always a bit warmer near me at the start of a race....

NoRockets said...

I'm not sure if it's me.. or the fact you are 12,000 miles away but - i think you're becoming more attractive by.the.photo.

John said...

I think it's the combination of the distance and whatever it is you've been inhaling today.

Jennifer said...

The pics with you on the picnic table are absolutely hilarious!

Anonymous said...

John,

I've cast my vote - "Gay icon 2005" - in the lastest edition of the Gay Times. Lycra just didn't do it for me - Neoprene I can feel the blood coursing through my veins again - if you know what I mean ! Hot. I've just got to sit down.

John said...

Ironic that it made the blood course through your veins - it just about brought mine to a standstill.

Nice post for newbie as a triathlon.